Pilot Episode

Ladies and gentlemen welcome to the one, the only, Inside the ED studio with your host, Jess. For the pilot episode today ED is unavailable (trust me this is a not so common thing) so I just wanted to let you know what this show is all about.
First off, let me introduce myself. I'm Jessica but everyone calls me Jess. I will be 20 in August and have suffered from an ED since the age of 6. I had binge eating disorder till age 13 when I switched to anorexia and compulsive exercise and laxative abuse (both forms of bulimia). I have been to residential treatment twice, inpatient 3 times, and outpatient 3 times bringing my total of treatment to 8 times (sorry ED gets you a little number obsessed). I once again am trying to recover which entails a caloric-based meal plan, a lot of weight restoration, and tons and tons of conversations with my eating disorder.
Now onto our guest, ED. Well, ED is my eating disorder. He's loud, he's crazy, and he's a jerk. He's that guy who dates you just so he can toy with you and all your emotions. He wants to control you to the point that you die. He is never happy with you and you are never enough. And he absolutely loves to have one-sided conversation with you where he talks and expects you to listen. The fun times roll once you start talking back.
So why this blog? Why now? And what the heck is it? This blog is where I will post my conversations with my ED. I have begun to voice them recently and my whole family finds them not only amusing, but also inspirational. Over the past week or so they have pushed me to blog them so I can help others in recovery. And since I'm a people pleaser thanks to ED and because really I want to share them, I have made this blog.
So why do this blog now? Why do it when I am going through such a hard process of recovery? There's a lot of reasons. It's therapeutic, it gets ED out of my head and into the light where he doesn't like to be, and because I think its something that needs to be out there. I think people who are recovering, people in their illness who want to recover, and people who are trying to help others recover need to see what having an ED is like. They need to see that recovery is hard, but possible. That it is possible to defeat your ED even when it is screaming in your head.
For me a huge part of recovery is countering all the arguments my ED brings me. In all my time surfing the web looking for some tools to help in my recovery I couldn't come across a blog that did that, so I want to start my own. I want to show people this tool of recovery. I want to help them laugh about recovery and see it can be emotional, but it also can be fun. I want people to see that these conversations don't have to be one-sided. That you can fight ED and overcome. I want people, including me, to see there is freedom from ED. That's why I have created the ED studio (yes it is a corny spin-off of Inside the Actor's Studio which I have never watched). And with that I end the pilot episode and go to have some b-fast, so rest assured there will be conversations with ED to come.